Pastey.

I went tanning yesterday for the first time in six years in preperation for the BIG TRIP coming up in 2 weeks. It's too late to lose weight so I'm thinking a tan will cover everything. I really have to believe that it will. Anyway, I went to the "salon" which is a gross back room with dripping ceilings and duct taped tanning beds - (THE NICEST TANNING SALON IN PRICE!!!) and the lady wants me to fill out a "please don't sue us when you get skin cancer" form.
It was all pretty standard but at the end there was a line that simply said "Skin type," with a lot of space for an explanation at the end. I looked at the lady and went into a big rant. "What do you mean by that? I'm white. Is that what you mean? Do you mean like, I'm not tan yet? DO you want to know if I burn easily or what? Ok. I am very white. I am like REEEAAAALLLLLY White. Look, I'm going on a trip in two weeks and I don't want to look like a fool next to my skinny and tan sisters and sisters in law. Can this machine make me skinny? I am very white."
She just looked at me and said, "you can just leave it blank."
I filled it out anyway with one word. Pastey. Eight minutes later I was pastey with red blotches. Look out Hawaii, here I come.