Officially Crazy

I finished all of the necessary paperwork. I had it notarized. I sat outside of the school in my car and cried for a few minutes. I opened the door, put one foot on the ground and threw up. I got back in the car and cried again.

I finally felt like I had it together and I tried it again. I knelt down in front of the secretaries desk and waited for her to finish one of her tasks. She smiled and asked me what I needed and I immediately teared up again. I handed her the papers and said, "I need help." She was very sweet. She was supportive and kind and made me feel better. Another teacher who happened to be in he office handed me a piece of paper with three names on it. They were all mothers who had experience in homeschooling and who would be happy to help me. I had not been expecting this reaction - I pictured a lot of laughing and eye rolling.

I got a similar reaction at the district office. Maybe these women reacted so kindly to me because they know me - maybe they waited to laugh when I walked out - or maybe I shouldn't be so nervous.

They all wanted to know why - the wanted to know if something had happened to make me do it. I had to say no. Josh and Ali have had great teachers, and as much as I like to joke, our experiences overall have been good. (except the one where they almost sent us to jail!) I have loved the teachers and the parents at the school and never worried too much about where my kids were going every day. I guess I have just always wanted make sure they were learning things that I know are important. I want them to have one -on- one time with a teacher who loves them and knows their strengths and weaknesses.

I am still feeling a bit nervous about what the next six months will be like for our family, but I feel capable and ready to go for it. There is no turning back now!!!