Gross.

Ever wondered how it feels to be a young person trapped in the body of an 80 year old? Let me tell you.

I was sitting outside, listening to some very soothing music when my friend informed me that the whites of my eyes were yellow. I had been up the night before with UNBEARABLE itching of my hands and feet, so I knew I was in trouble. After a quick iPhone search, I knew I was having liver problems again. I'm pretty sure I have jaundice at this point - but that seems silly. Just to be safe I am spending extra time in the tanning bed.

I am not too worried at this point - this is nothing new, but a new element is in play. Kale. Erik seems to think that these problems are self inflicted and has decided to put me on a diet. Of course there is no way he can MAKE me do this, but I humored him for about 5 minutes. He went to the side of some road and picked of bunch of weeds for me to eat -or drink. He juiced me a big glass of delicious kale and waited for me to guzzle it down. It took me 5 minutes to get past the smell and take a drink. GOODNIGHT. It tasted like DIRT.

I tried again with a green smoothie my sister recommended, but alas, it looked and tasted like dirt. Is it just me, or do leafy greens taste that way to everyone else? I can literally taste the ground from whence they came and it is not good. At this moment I am not ever eating again. Food is obviously my enemy and we need to part ways. My idea of eating healthy will be consuming saltine crackers and blue Powerade exclusively. Maybe green Powerade if I'm feeling extra bad.